A New Failure Face
by Dolores-the-Dip
Summary: (I'm back from the dead, people!) Charlie Brown and Sally have a new brother, Chadd; and good grief, is he ever a handful. What will this baby bundle of joy get up to next? How does he help his brother talk to the girl of his dreams, aid Linus retrieve his blanket from his grandmother's basement and even battle the Red Baron at only 11 months old? Read it to find out.


A New Failure Face

A Peanuts Fanfiction

By LivingOnLaughs

(A/N: This fanfiction is based on what I think Charlie Brown's life would be like if he and Sally had a brother. Enjoy and if you don't like it, **DON'T READ IT**. Thank you)

Chapter 1

The Super Brown Brothers

~Thursday Morning~

Sally Brown poked at her toast lazily. Her big brother, Charlie, was struggling to get the butter on his toast instead of on his pajama top and Snoopy was yawning as he ate his dogfood. Sally was the first to speak up as her brother sighed.

"Big Brother, do I have to go to school today?" she asked, stifling a yawn.

"Yes, Sally" Charlie Brown answered. "You know we have school today," he explained.

"Yeah, but what's the use in going to school if I can't find the capital of Venezuela?" Sally responded, her piece of toast beginning to crumble as her fork brushed the crust sleepily.

"So you can learn **WHAT** the capital of Venezuela is, I guess…" her big brother answered with a shrug.

"So, how's my Sweet Baboo? I haven't seen him in a while," Sally asked, changing the topic.

"Well, Linus' fine; but he's been in a bit of a bitter mood lately" he explained, sitting down at the table with his sister.

"I guess he's that way because his grandmother took his blanket away from him," she suggested as a baby's cry filled the kitchen.

" _Oh great, Chadd's awake"_ Snoopy thought with a yawn as he drummed his fingers-er-paws on the floor. Mrs. Brown walked to the table holding a baby boy (about eleven-months-old) in her arms.

"Morning, Mom" Charlie sighed with a yawn as his mother put their brother in a highchair. "Morning, Chadd"

Sally smiled at her mother as she looked over at her younger brother, Chadd Brown. "Good morning, Baby Brother" she giggled, tickling her brother's chubby chin.

"Good morning, Sally. Good morning to you too, Charlie" Mrs. Brown smiled as she ruffled her only daughter's blond hair and patted her eldest son's round head. "Sally, remember, Eudora's coming over after school; and Charlie, you have a date with Heather"

Sally smiled as she got up from the table and walked to her room happily. "Thanks for the reminder, Mom!" she called out as she closed her bedroom door.

"So Charlie, any big plans I should know about?" Mrs. Brown asked, preparing a formula at the stove.

"Well…Linus, Franklin and Schroeder invited me to go roller-skating on Sunday; Heather's picking me up at 6 tonight and tomorrow is the big game between my team and Peppermint Patty's after school" Charlie explained as Chadd giggled.

"Good to hear, Charlie; but I'm afraid you won't be able to go to the big game tomorrow: you have to take Chadd out shopping for groceries, remember?" his mom reminded.

"Seriously?" the eldest Brown child asked in disbelief as he left the table in disgust.

"Charlie, I'm relying on you to take Chadd with you getting groceries tomorrow…call it a second chance, and if you can do it, I'll let you do it again" Mrs. Brown reassured.

~School~

Charlie Brown drummed his fingers on the picnic table as he read over his spelling rules. Linus was sitting next to his best friend, looking depressed. "Let's see, Linus…'I' before 'E' except after 'C'," he (Charlie Brown) explained.

CB: _This is one rule I must remember._

' _I' before 'E' except after 'C'_

 _Or when sounded like 'A' as in Neighbor and Weigh._

 _Words ending in 'I', 'E'_

 _Drop the 'E' and change the 'I' to 'Y' before adding_

' _I-N-G'._

' _I' before 'E' except after 'C'_

 _Let's see:_

' _I' before 'E' except after 'H',_

 _No, 'I' after 'E' After 'C' –_

' _I' before 'E' after -_

 _No, 'E' before 'I' after 'C'!_

Linus: _When a word has a 'C' for an ending,_

 _Like Frolic,_

CB: _Or Colic?_

Linus: _Or Comic, and Mimic, and Picnic,_

 _You always add a 'K' before appending!_

CB:Huh?

Linus:You know, sticking an 'E' or 'I' or 'Y' –

CB: Oh sure!

Linus: _For example – Colicky, Frolicker, Picnicker, Mimicker!_

 _CB: And Hickory Dickory Docker!_

Linus: _On the other hand, if suffix is maintained (page 43),_

 _Then 'E' must be retained after 'C'!_

CB: _You mean before the ending able?_

Linus: _Right! That keeps the spelling stable!_

CB: _So that's why –_

Linus: _Of course, let's try!_

CB and Linus: _Noticeable, Serviceable, Embraceable, Replaceable,_

 _Peaceable, Enforceable, Pronounceable, Untraceable!_

 _Sleigh, Stein, Fahrenheit –_

 _Excepting: Fiery, Hierarchy, Hieroglyphics!_

Linus: _'E I' is also used in special words, that merit careful study –_

' _E' before 'I' after 'C' –_

CB and Linus: _Seizure, Leisure, Seize, Skein, Protein,_

 _Weird, Either, Neither, Codeine, Caffeine!_

Linus _: Siege, however is spelled 'I E' –_

 _Otherwise, use 'I E' in Thief, Believe, Fiend, Niece,_

CB and Linus: _Field, Brief, Grief,_

 _Cashier, Achieve, Yield!_

Linus: _Only one word in the language ends in 'SEDE' –_

 _Supersede!_

 _Three others end in 'CEED' –_

 _Exceed, Proceed, Succeed!_

 _All others end in 'CEDE'_

 _CB and Linus: Accede, Concede, Intercede, Precede, Recede, Secede!_

 _Linus: 'E' before 'I' after 'C'_

 _When a word ends in 'C' like Frolic and Mimic and Picnic,_

 _CB: Insert a 'K' before adding a suffix!_

 _Beginning with 'F', 'I' or 'Y',_

 _Linus: 'E I' is used immediately after the letter 'C' –_

 _CB: The single exception is Financier!_

 _Linus: 'E I' is used in words in which it has the sound of 'A',_

 _CB: Or the sound as 'I' as in Height,_

 _CB and Linus: Sleigh, Stein, Fahrenheit!_

' _E I' is also used in special words –_

 _Leisure, Seizure, Seize, Skein, Protein,_

 _Weird, Either, Neither,_

 _Codeine, Caffeine!_

 _Use 'I E' in Thief,_

 _Belief,_

 _Fiend, Field, Brief, Grief, Yield, Achieve, Cashier,_

 _Except after 'C' as in Accede, Proceed,_

 _Succeed, Exceed, Concede_

 _Intercede, Precede, Recede, Succeed…_

A tap on the shoulder brought the two kids out of song. "What is it?" Linus asked.

"The bell rang, we're late for class," Lucy explained. "Study your 'I's, 'E's and 'C's **AFTER** school," she snapped.

"Good grief" Charlie sighed, picking up his grammar book.

"Say, Charlie Brown, you look horrible" Linus realized.

"I am, Linus…I'm so tired that I forgot how to write my name properly! I've been putting the 'E' before the 'I' instead of the 'I E' …I can't stand it" he explained.

"So? You're a big brother of two now…we've got your back, Charlie Brown, and if you ever need help, Lucy and I can always help you" the younger boy insisted, patting his friend on the back.

"Thanks Linus, Chadd's almost a year old and he still keeps Sally and I awake at night, it's crazy…so how's operation Get-Back-My-Blanket-From-My-Wicked-Grandmother coming along?" the lovable loser asked.

"Horribly…she put that blanket in _her basement,_ " Linus explained with a quiver.

"What's so scary about her basement?" Charlie Brown questioned obliviously.

"She has a bear rug in her basement; the railing has cobwebs and, worse of all, **THE BLANKET IS OUT OF MY REACH AND SHE KNOWS IT!** " he answered.

"Good grief" Charlie sighed. "I'm sorry I asked"

~After School~

"Mom! I'm home!" Sally called out as she slammed open the door.

"Shhhhhhhhh! Chadd's asleep" Charlie whispered, covering his sister's mouth with his hand.

"I always forget" Sally answered, removing Charlie's hand from her mouth.

The two kids walked to the table and pulled out their homework. "You first, Sally" he told his sister.

"Question 1: If a man has 5 watermelons and they each cost $6.00, how much do the watermelons cost altogether?" Sally read to her big brother.

"Let's do our _pizzas_ then" Charlie explained, pulling out a piece of paper and drawing five poorly drawn circles with his compass. "Now add six _slices of pepperoni_ in each _pizza_ , and please count aloud," he insisted.

"Let's see…1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12…that's two pizzas complete…13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18…three done…19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24…four done…25, 26, 27, 28, 29, **30!"** Sally realized high-fiving Charlie Brown.

"Great job, Sally! Now write down the number _30_ for question 1" her big brother explained.

"Okay, Big Brother" Sally answered, writing the number for question one.

"I'm impressed" Charlie complimented, ruffling his sister's hair playfully.

 _Ding Dong_

" **EUDORA'S HERE!"** Sally called out, waking her baby brother in the process.

"Good grief" Charlie sighed, walking into the bedroom he was sharing with Chadd. "Don't cry, Chadd…I'm here" the failure face reassured; but Chadd kept crying.

"Who's that crying?" Eudora questioned, covering her ears to avoid deafness.

"That's my brother and my other brother" Sally explained, her ears were also covered.

Charlie Brown picked up Chadd and cradled him in his arms. The baby's brown eyes glanced at his older brother as the tears began to stop trickling down his chubby cheeks. "There there, Chadd" Charlie Brown comforted reassuringly. "Charlie's here," he explained.

~Friday~

Charlie Brown sighed as he got Chadd in the stroller. "I might be the world's worst manager and I can't let my team down; but I have to take Chadd to the store," Charlie Brown told himself, Chadd watching in confusion.

"Aughhhhh!" Charlie screamed; Chadd mimicked his big brother's action, screaming out the word as well.

~Ball Field~

"Where's Chuck?" Peppermint Patty asked.

"I think he's gonna be late again, Sir" Marcie explained.

"Well this is ridiculous!" Frieda argued.

"There he is!" Franklin called out at the sight of their friend's round head. "Charlie Brown! Where's all your stuff, Charlie Brown?" he immediately asked.

"Where's your glove and your bat and everything?" Patty Swanson added.

"I can't play today!" Charlie Brown answered, parking Chadd's stroller by the bleachers.

"Waddya mean you can't play today?!" Peppermint Patty shouted.

"Just what I said…I can't play today! There's something else I have to do!" the round-headed-kid repeated.

"But you **gotta** play, Charlie Brown, you're our **manager"** Pigpen explained.

"You may be a **lousy** manager, but you're still our manager!" Frieda snapped.

"We **need** you!" Roy called out.

"I can't help it…" Charlie Brown sighed, heading to the bleachers.

" **You gotta play, Charlie Brown!"** Schroeder shouted.

" **You gotta! You gotta!"** Violet screamed.

"I just don't understand it," Peppermint Patty confessed.

" **I** understand it," Lucy simply explained, getting a laugh out of Marcie.

" **You** understand it? Since when did **you** become so understanding?" said bespectacled girl asked, giggling.

"It's not a matter of understanding," Lucy explained to the _Pelicans_ and _Tigers_. "It's simply the age-old story," she told them as Charlie Brown walked off, pushing Chadd's stroller.

"Again?" Linus asked, remembering when he couldn't play baseball because he had to push Sally in her stroller.

"I think maybe we should help Charles," the timid brunette suggested.

"Marcie, you're weirdly correct," Peppermint Patty praised, rushing over to Charlie Brown. "Hey Chuck, how about you manage the team and I'll manage the baby" she suggested.

"Sorry, but I have to take Chadd grocery shopping with me" Charlie Brown insisted.

"Nonsense, ol' Chuck. When you've got Peppermint Patty for a friend, you can guarantee positivity…besides; I've never handled a baby before" the tomboy replied, looking at Chadd. He had his sister's blond hair and his brother's little, signature curl of hair.

"Sorry; but I, Good Ol' Charlie Brown, have a task to do and I'm not going to let my parents down" he answered.

"Relax, Chucky, I'll hold onto Chadd until you're back with the groceries, then you can keep him here to watch the game after dropping off the groceries" Patty offered as she took Chadd out of the stroller.

"Sir, maybe we can just wait for Charles to finish his task **before** beginning the game…after all, Good Ol' Charlie Brown is always trying to do his best" the bespectacled girl reminded her best friend.

"According to him, that's not gonna happen" Franklin sighed.

"Well he sure is cute, Chuck…makes me wish I had a baby brother" the freckled girl complimented, placing Chadd back in the stroller.

"Thanks, Peppermint Patty…you know, you can always visit us," he suggested as he began pushing the stroller away from the ball field.

"Charlie Brown, you blockhead! What's more important to you? Some ankle-biting baby or your team?" Lucy yelled out to the round-headed-kid.

"Well…" Charlie Brown began, trying to find the right words. He luckily didn't have to wait for a long time though.

"Charlie Brown!" Chadd giggled, shocking everyone.

"His first words!" Charlie Brown smiled happily with his goofy grin.

"He spoke, Chuck! You must be the happiest kid in the world! His first words were your name!" the freckled tomboy complimented, patting Charlie Brown on the back.

"I'm proud too, Peppermint Patty…his first words were my name…not even Sally's first words were my name" Charlie exclaimed eagerly.

"Charlie Brown! Charlie Brown!" Chadd repeated.

"Yes, that's my name, Chadd…can you say 'Sally'? That's your sister's name: Sally," the proud blockhead asked.

"Charlie Brown!" Chadd answered, laughter began erupting among the kids.

"Okay Charlie Brown, go get those groceries and I'll manage the team until you return" Violet spoke up.

"Thank goodness for substitute players" Charlie beamed happily, pushing the baby's stroller.

"Charlie Brown! Charlie Brown!" the baby boy squealed as he kicked his chubby legs.

"Good grief" the lovable looser giggled, pushing the stroller into the store.

Chadd giggled and clapped his hands as his older brother smiled. _"Being a big brother is nice,"_ he sighed happily, handing Chadd the toy zebra in the backpack on the stroller. _"In fact, it has its advantages"_ he realized.

~Suppertime~

"So Big Brother, how was school today?" Sally asked, twirling her spaghetti with her fork.

"It was good" Charlie Brown sighed, looking over at his mom attempting to feed Chadd.

"Charlie, can you help me, please?" Mrs. Brown asked, mashed bananas had been thrown in her face.

"Sure, mom…come on, Chadd…open up for your big brother" the eldest Brown child insisted. "Please? For Charlie Brown?"

"Charlie, don't use your last name in the house, it's uncomfortable," his mother reminded.

"Sorry, mom" Charlie sighed.

"Charlie Brown!" Chadd giggled, opening his mouth as Charlie Brown got the spoonful of mashed bananas into his mouth.

"Nice" Sally complimented before realizing something. **"He spoke!"** she shouted happily.

Charlie Brown beamed as Chadd smiled at his sister. "That's Sally, Chadd" the older of the brothers introduced.

" _I know my sister's name already…good grief…"_ Chadd thought, drumming his chubby fingers on the highchair's tray.

Snoopy sat by the highchair, waiting for any mashed bananas to drop on the floor so he could scoop it up with his dog tongue. _"Just drop the food already,"_ he thought, his tail wagging eagerly.

~Evening~

Charlie Brown sighed. He was the only kid in his class that sat by the TV with his baby brother, watching toddler shows such as _Barney and Friends_ , _The Wiggles_ and _Sesame Street_ (not that he had anything against those shows; it just seemed weird)

"Why do I have to do this?" Charlie asked his sister, who groaned. If anything, she despised being called a baby for watching baby shows with her little brother.

"Because, Big Brother, I did it last Friday. It's your turn" she sighed annoyingly, catching her younger brother's attention as he turned his head away from the TV.

"S-s-s" he began, looking his older sister in the hazelnut eyes. "Sally?" Chadd asked, making said girl look at her brother in awe.

"Chadd, you just said 'Sally'…that's my name!" she realized, hugging her brother as he repeated her name again. "Oh I love you too, Chadd," she praised.

"Mom! Dad! Chadd just said Sally's name!" Charlie Brown called out, rushing to get their parents. Sally kept on praising the baby for saying her name and Snoopy just sighed contently. He liked having a baby in the house again, even if they enjoyed tugging on his ears or sucking on his toys.

" _There's something about Chadd that I like, but what is it?"_ the beagle thought as Chadd crawled towards Snoopy and hugged his nuzzle. _"Oh yeah…his cuteness is appealing and he seems to like me a lot"_

Chadd's eyes fluttered as he rested his head on the family dog's muzzle, nuzzling his cheek against the soft fur. "It's also nice having another member in the family that doesn't criticize me" Charlie contemplated happily, turning off the TV and placing Chadd in his loving arms. The baby clinged onto the sleeve while asleep, thinking it was a blanket.

"Good night, Chadd…have sweet dreams" Charlie hushed, placing his baby brother in the crib and placing the toy zebra at the end of the crib. Sally smiled from the doorway, happy to have a baby brother to love and care for too.


End file.
